First off – I’d like to apologise for the lack of a comment spotlight last week. The simple fact of the matter is that there weren’t any good comments. Also, there weren’t any articles, which significantly hurt our chances of receiving comments.
Anywho – on with the show!
One from a lovely bloke called Salamander first, who writes the following in response to our ‘I’ve been outed as a FetSoc member to other FetSoc members and I’m upset‘ article:
This is the biggest pile of shit ever published to the internet. If you’re proud of who you are you’d let everyone cherish your membership to the fetish foundation.
[REDACTED] still hasn’t recovered after the last comment to this article, and even though when I read this out to [REDACTED] I could see [REDACTED]‘s will to live fading away slowly, I knew that it was vitally important to allow for communication between the reader base and our authors. I would like to put a little bit of comment criticism across here, however! Firstly, using a psuedonym like ‘Salamander’, and then referring to yourself by it in the third person makes you sound a bit like a cultist or a serial killer. Maybe that’s what you’re into. Shit – maybe that’s what you mean by ‘fetish foundation’. Oh God – it’s all making sense now. KILL [REDACTED], NOT ME!
Our next comment is from a strapping young lad called Mr Rational Thinking Enlightened Common-Sense Man, who writes this comment on our piece ‘Top universities to scrap consent workshops as they’re “above that sort of thing”‘:
If we use facts, evidence, statistics, logical reasoning, egalitarianism and objectivity, you and I alike – for we are not so different, for are we not all human beings? – would find that these so-called “work”-shops (source?) are entirely unnecessary. I, personally, have never seen any evidence of rape existing ever, and I am a normal, everyday working man. In fact, I don’t even have male privilege, because I sometimes don’t have enough money for a polite, formal Nandos! All signs point to the conclusion that this is just another myth constructed by feminists to cheat poor hard-working men out of their hard-earned vagina time. All men should be allowed to spend intimate quality time with the non-familial vaginas closest to them.
Personally, I feel like I’ve finally found someone I can agree with on all points. Until this moment, I was a head floating in the void, longing for companionship and bonding – and unrestricted access to local vaginas. I can really connect with the ideas at work here. Unfortunately, there is one thing thing I have to pull you up on – I asked around the office and none of the staff at Campus Rag have heard of ‘Nando’s’ before. Perhaps you’re refering to ‘Nadon’s’? They do fantastic chicken – I often like to visit just after an energising hot mocha from Conka Coffee. Sometimes I just sit by the window and stare out at the passersby, making funny faces at children until their parents notice me.
Our final comment comes from a youthful gent by the name of ‘Jeff Gibbons94’ (Who has kindly provided his email address for us – thank you! We’ll be in touch with our new articles!), who wrote the following in response to the ‘Top universities to scrap consent workshops as they’re “above that sort of thing”‘ article. Wow, this is a hot one!
Is this called ‘Campus rag’ , because most of your writers are permanently on the rag?
Now – I want to pick up on something suspect here. This comment is almost a perfect duplicate of a comment we received on the writer’s personal facebook page, by a spritely chap named Philip Pearson, check it out!
Now – I’m not trying to say that lightning can’t strike the same place twice, that such a genius comment couldn’t be made twice in the same day – but it sure is suspicious! Philip – if that is your real name, I’d watch out for this Jeff fellow – he’s stealing all your primo-quality content!
That’s about all we’ve got for this week, make sure you come back next time for some more top banter!
You forgot to censor his name