YASSS QUEEN!! RuPaul just burnt down a state park for the BEST reason

Remixed RuPaul photo from David Shankbone / CC BY-SA 3.0 | Forest fire photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash

Today in #heartwarming: the forest fires sweeping the western United States that have displaced tens of thousands of citizens and turned the skies orange have been revealed to be for a fandragular reason!

In a statement today the popular host of RuPaul’s Drag Race, RuPaul Andre Charles, acknowledged that he was responsible for the catastrophe, but that America’s sacrifice will be the world’s gain:

Now listen, my heart goes out to everyone feeling scared or hurt right now, and I feel scared sometimes too. But you know, girls, no matter how difficult life gets, just remember you still put your pantyhose on one leg at a time.

With that out of the way, I am beyond delighted to announce that all this pain, all this drama, is for an important reason. I started a controlled fire to clear the grounds for my brand new show, RuPaul’s Drag Race to Extinction. I wanted to put on a show for you all, packed to the brim with blazing hot Queens full of charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent to raise awareness of an issue very close to my heart.

I did all this to raise awareness of climate change and make sure the Queens of tomorrow have where they can sashay away in peace. And while the fires may have gotten out of control, I think that just makes a bigger point about how fragile our planet really is.

I’ve always said I’d rather die than give up on my ambitions, and while I am sorry, I think that if you are offended by something I’ve said or done, you have bigger problems to worry about.

So, to any RuPaul haters out there, good luck finding any ammunition for your crusade here! The rest of us will be anxiously awaiting the reveal of the lineup for what promises to be the drag event of the century, full of sass, more lip synch than you can handle and fishiness galore. And hopefully we’ll see some smoky eyeshadow and looks so hot every city in the world will need to evacuate!

Ashley Reed

My name is Ashley Reed. My hobbies include colouring in, student journalism and making small towers out of cardboard and elastic bands.

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