Labour leadership profile: David Miliband

Remixed Photo of David Miliband by Harald Dettenborn, CC BY 3.0 DE, via Wikimedia Commons, Louis George Café font by Chen Yining

Name & Title: David Miliband PC

Age: 55

Slogan: ‘A pro-business Labour for a brighter future’

Key policies:

  • Labour needs to adopt a pro-business approach, calling for lower corporation taxes and more relaxed banking regulation so that the businesses won’t leave and ruin our economy
  • Oh, I need another policy? Erm, it is my view that austerity has gone too far, too fast

Previous jobs: Ah, where to begin? I’ve been a policy analyst… Actually I’ve mostly just been a policy analyst and an MP. I was Environment Secretary in the Blair years (an unfairly maligned part of Labour history, in my view) and I was the third youngest foreign secretary ever, which was very exciting for my career development. Some people have called me a careerist, but I’m not running for leadership for the money. I’ve already got tons of that from my extremely lucrative speaking engagements. I’m very comfortable and very happy, and not cynical at all. I’ve also done some really fantastic work as president of the International Rescue Committee. I think I’ve done more for the world than any of the other candidates. I’ve certainly done very well for myself.

Tell us a bit about yourself: In many respects, I fully believe I could singlehandedly save the Labour Party. Maybe it’s just years of people saying I could and speculating about when I will, or perhaps it’s actually true. My apologies, did you mean about me personally? Well…

What makes you different from the other candidates? I’m Oxford educated like my brother, but unlike him I didn’t drop philosophy and I got a first. I think that speaks for itself.

How will you fix Labour’s electoral misfortunes? Listen. Everyone I talk to says they’ll vote for me. I’m not worried about getting elected.

Any last words? My brother is incompetent, a total laughing stock and he is absolutely not tough enough to win. Vote David Miliband if you want to see Labour succeed.

This article was produced as part of Labour leadership month here at Campus Rag. Click here to go back to the candidate profile hub.

Hack Jarvis Morrison

Just another thinker, like everyone else. History/Politics. Write for the Backbencher, too.

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *