Monitor lizards surpass gerbils to become UK’s most popular pet
Parents: jubilate! Ye need not worry for Christmas gifts this year. Hamleys have placed monitor lizards at number 4 on their list of top Christmas toys for 2020, and you can buy...
Author: Ashley Reed
Children everywhere rejoice as Swiper sentenced to life in prison
Children all across the world collectively screamed in joy today as nefarious villain Swiper the Fox was finally given a life sentence by Freddy the Judge. The guilty verdict came earlier this...
5 things you can do now you’re out of Uni!
Figuring out what to do with yourself when you’re finally done and dusted with university can be a difficult proposition. While it’s easy to coast by obeying your Student Union President’s every...
YASSS QUEEN!! RuPaul just burnt down a state park for the BEST reason
Today in #heartwarming: the forest fires sweeping the western United States that have displaced tens of thousands of citizens and turned the skies orange have been revealed to be for a fandragular...
University announces plans to bring all exams forward a week in light of floods
David Duncan, Registrar and Secretary at the University of York and occasional novelist, has today announced the University’s plan to deal with the floods impacting upon exams and assessments: all deadlines are...
Which of the drugs in this bag my friend Harry gave me last week is your college?
I first met Harry in the library at 4am, the night before his deadlines. He was extremely passionate about his subject – while I was trying to write the last 100 words...
OUTRAGEOUS! Petition to no-platform GOD from abortion debate!
It’s a Sunday afternoon on campus. The sky is covered by clouds, the ducks have gathered on the path between Goodricke and Langwith, and students everywhere are incensed. No, it’s not because...
Outrage after Feminist Society member holds opinion
Those naughty feminists have been at it again! Not satisfied with last term’s ‘Castration For All’ campaign, which – contrary to its tagline – saw feminists run rampant specifically targeting male university...
New issue of ‘The Lemon Press’ available!
UPDATE: There’s a Lemon Press writers’ meeting today at at 7PM today in D/130 – just above D-Bar! If you’re a fan of The Lemon Press, why not go along and get involved?! Hey, are...
New College Football Season or something
Very soon you’ll be hearing an awful lot about football at Uni, and you’ll probably be hearing about it for the rest of the year. Until summer. Then you’ll hear about real...
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